Funny papers: Peggy Noonan v. Helen Thomas

This weekend saw two crazy broads facing off in rival columns over the condition of the shitshow known as the American economy. For the left: Helen Thomas, tormentor of Dana Perino, chaser of Stephen P. Colbert, and older than dirt White House correspondent. For the right: Peggy Noonan, Reagan-era speechwriter and cuckoo bananas Wall Street Journal fabulist.

Helen Thomas's piece shouts "It's a depression."  Bear in mind, Helen Thomas knows a thing or or two about depressions. She was, after all, a teenager during Great Depression Classic. She's not too optimistic about where things are going:

It's all going to get worse, according to the experts. We have had recessions before but nothing like this, with massive layoffs, hundreds of foreclosures, retail stores closing, stock market losses, and widespread fears about the future.

Not so fast says Princess Peggy in her latest "Declaration." She laments that "we are told every day and in every venue that we are in Great Depression II." (Thanks for the shout out Pegs!) These so-called "experts" may be telling us that millions are unemployed, the stock market is half of what it was a year ago, and credit is tighter than Ann Coulter's jaw, but apparently all is fine because when you "free yourself from the media and go outside for a walk, everything looks...the same." She continues:

Everyone is dressed the same. Everyone looks as comfortable as they did three years ago, at the height of prosperity. The mall is still there, and people are still walking into the stores and daydreaming with half-full carts in aisle 3. Everyone’s still overweight.

Suffice it to say that the rest of the column is in keeping with PP's grand tradition of bloviating about her dear America based on her quotidian experiences as a wealthy, white New Yorker. I'll direct you to our friends at Wonkette for the usual supremely executed takedown.   

I did learn one thing from both columns. Apparently Great Depression Classic was all about apples. PP: "In the Depression people sold apples;" Thomas: "I grant you that I have yet to see former wealthy men selling apples on the street corner as I did during the Great Depression in the early 1930s."  (I told you that bitch was old!)  Anyway, given this useful tidbit I shall now adjust my own anti-Hooverville plans accordingly.